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Jokes - English Humour

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Hi there!

During this lesson, well it's not really a lesson; I'm going to tell you some jokes.

So, here's one about the wide-mouthed frog who one day decided to leave his pond and explore the world.
On the way he met a large four-legged black and white animal with two horns, and said Helloo, I'm a wide-mouthed frog, what are you, and what do you eat?
I'm a cow, and I eat grass.
Oooh, is that so. That's nice.
The wide-mouthed frog then came to a huge bird with sharp talons and a curved beak. Helloo, I'm a wide-mouthed frog, what are you, and what do you eat?
I'm an eagle, and I eat little birds and mice.
Oooh, is that so. That's nice.
Next he came across another large four-legged creature, standing on his hind legs, with sharp claws. Helloo, I'm a wide-mouthed frog, what are you, and what do you eat?
I'm a bear, and I eat honey.
Ooh, is that so. That's nice.
The wide-mouthed frog then reached a river where he met a long green slimy creature with huge jaws. Helloo, I'm a wide-mouthed frog, what are you, and what do you eat?
I'm an alligator and I eat wide-mouth frogs.
Ooh, is that so. You don't see many of those around, do you.

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other: Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?
The other one says: No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a duck!

A teacher speaking to a student said: Billy, name two pronouns.
Billy who suddenly woke up, said: Who? Me?!

An old teacher said today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say: I am good looking, which tense is it?
One of the students replied: Obviously it's the past tense.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
?No eyed deer?. (Still no idea!)
What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?
Still no eyed deer. (?Still no idea?).

And that's the end of this lesson!

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Thanks, and I hope to see you again soon!
 

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